HOW TO FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR EXPECTATIONS
HOW TO FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Expectations shape the way we see the world - we expect things of everyone around us every second of the day.
We expect our partners to be supportive and respectful, we expect people to follow road rules and general courtesies, and we expect our children to be more patient than they are.
We expect ourselves to achieve particular goals by 30, be better than we are at X, Y and Z, and have the perfect body/career/marriage.
These expectations are constant, and are wreaking havoc on our relationships and our own self-worth. When we fail to meet our expectations (or someone else fails to meet silent criteria we create), we become disappointed and resentful.
We then spend our time spiralling into self-pity with the belief that we are not good enough, or that the other people in our lives aren't good enough. And we do this daily - mostly subconsciously.
EXPECTATIONS CONSISTENTLY SET YOU UP TO FAIL FOR TWO REASONS:
1. You Set The Bar Too High For Yourself
We are always our own toughest critics - what we want in our lives is to be seen, and to be worthy of love from others. We feel that we need to achieve more than the person who came before us, and that everything must be bigger and better. A lot of the time, this is also unrealistic, and when can't achieve this goal we feel like have failed. But we forget that we deserve love no matter what. We don't need to achieve greatness to be worthy of love - your sheer existence is reason enough.
2. Your Communication With Others Isn't Clear (Or Present At All)
When it comes to being disappointed by others, it can generally be found in a lack of clear communication. If you don't have clear, heart-centred communication with someone you feel has neglected your feelings? How would that person ever know. Remove the doubt from the situation and clear up the confusion - express how you are feeling, and what you need to be joyful and fulfilled. Stop having imaginary conversations with people in your head, and have real ones - their reactions will often surprise you.
HOW TO LET GO OF EXPECTATIONS
Letting go of expectations allows you to release your ultimatums on self-worth. You realise that you do not need to achieve particular things to be deserving of love and affection - you deserve it anyway. Your life should be a pursuit of things that make you feel good and supported, not experiences that make you doubt yourself or challenge your sense of worth.
Start by paying attention to the moments in your life where you feel disappointed or where you realise your expectations are not being met. Then ask yourself:
Why do I feel this way?
What is my core expectation?
Why is this important to me?
If you start to bring your expectations into critical focus, you won't get carried away in the moment. Centre yourself, and remember that you are worth of love (and so is everyone else) regardless of what is happening right now.
Do you notice that your expectations keep you from enjoying your life as much as you could?
LIGHT & PERSPECTIVE
